Sarah L. Johnson is the author of Suicide Stitch (EMP Publishing) and she's agreed to answer a few immensely important questions.
UM: What’s your latest release?
SJ: Ah…I can’t remember. That’s either sad or arrogant. I think it was the short story collection.
UM: Who is your biggest inspiration?
SJ: Anyone with an appetite for learning inspires me. When you lose your willingness to listen, discover, and grow, you may as well die. As for writerly inspiration…Anne Carson, Poppy Z. Brite, George Saunders, Hanya Yanagihara, Sarah Langan, Erma Bombeck, David Morrell, Leonard Cohen, Anais Nin, Guy Gavriel Kay, Zoe Whittall, Haruki Murakami, Kathe Koja, David Sedaris… That’s not all, but this is already a way longer answer than you probably wanted.
UM: What did you wear to prom?
SJ: I almost didn’t go because I was in my anti-establishment, flannel and NIN phase. I ended up going as my best friend’s date, while our boyfriends went with some other girls we were friends with. We all had fun, even if the guys were a little mystified at the arrangement. The important thing is that in a sea of pastel floor-length gowns and white satin gloves, I wore a black body-con mini dress. Fierce as hell.
UM: Did you eventually marry your prom date, why or why not?
SJ: Nope, because she and I were friends then, and twenty years later we still are. If that’s not true love, I don’t know what is.
UM: Why have grizzly bears helped sasquatches hide all these years?
SJ: I don’t know who you’ve been talking to, but this interview is over.
UM: Who would win in a jousting match between Margaret Atwood (riding a genetically modified pig) and Patrick DeWitt (riding a trail pony)?
SJ: I am an ardent fan of Patrick DeWitt, but Maggie doesn’t fuck around. She would slaughter him.
UM: Describe your writing process in five words.
SJ: Write drunk and edit sober.
UM: William Shatner is Canada’s...?
SJ: As Canadians, I think we’re allowed to call him Bill.
UM: What are you working on now?
SJ: The follow-up to my forthcoming novel Infractus. Somehow I got this dumb idea into my head that writing the second book would be easier.
UM: Who is your dream editor?
SJ: At this point I’m grateful to work with anyone who cares deeply about improving the work, and knows what they’re doing. The latter is no small thing when it seems every writer out there is also calling themselves an editor.
UM: Which rom-com would you like see turned into a slasher horror?
SJ: Slasher flicks usually bore me, but this is an exciting question. Anything with Sandra Bullock, like Miss Congeniality. Wouldn’t that be amazing? Plus bonus William Shatner.
UM: What’s the coolest thing to happen surrounding your collection, Suicide Stitch?
SJ: A woman contacted me through my website, told me she’d read my book and that I needed to get right with Jesus. That was pretty cool.
Um: What’s next?
SJ: My dystopian novel Infractus is coming soon from Driven Press. And, because I’m a deviant amongst deviants, I’ll have a story appearing this June in Comet Press’s Year’s Best Hardcore Horror.
Get more of Sarah L. Johnson here: http://www.sarahljohnson.com/